Locals encouraged to submit stories for book

Published 3:00 am Saturday, July 25, 2015

Brent Holmes, the hometown talent that caused even the grumpiest to chuckle with his book of redneck poetry titled “The Road Less Graveled” is at it again.

This time he is inviting family, friends and even strangers to “invest” in his upcoming book of “the funniest stories you ever heard.”

The investment Holmes is seeking has nothing to do with dollars and dimes. He’s just inviting people to share their stories for inclusion in his book of funny stories for the South.

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“Everybody has stories that are just so funny or amusing that they want to share them,” Holmes said. “Most of the time, these stories are shared with family and friends, and then they kind of fizzle out. What I’d like to do is share these funny stories with a wide audience and preserve them for family and friends down the road.”

Southerners have long been known for their love of and telling stories.

“It seems like Southerners enjoy sitting around telling stories more than people in other parts of the country,” Holmes said. “Maybe that’s because of our slow and easy way of living.”

Over the years, Holmes had collected stories from the South, and they will be the bones of the book of funny stories from the South, but he wants to hang some meat on those bones. The meat will be the “investment” others make in story form.

“I’m not looking for long stories or jokes,” Holmes said. “The stories in the book will be short, 500 words or less and true to life.”

A Holmes’ story is of a friend who was on the way to meet with his mother-in-law but was caught in traffic due to an accident. He was shocked to see that his mother-in-law’s car was involved. He pulled his car off the highway and ran to her aid. She was on the stretcher and being lifted into the ambulance. Her head was bandaged and oxygen was being administered. He announced that he was her son-in-law and the paramedics allowed him to ride with her and asked him the hospital preference. He said St. Thomas because she was Catholic. While holding his mother-in-law’s hand and praying for her, he realized the rings on her hands were not his mother-in-law’s rings. When the ambulance stopped for a traffic light, the young man got out and told the driver to take the accident victim wherever she wanted to go. And he was gone.

Another Holmes’ story is about a friend who was cleaning her kitchen cabinets with a toxic spray. As she was spraying, she looked behind her and saw the family’s forever pet licking the spray from the cabinets. She grabbed the poisoned puppy and rushed him the to family vet. After a close examination and a detailed bill, the vet gave the pup a clear bill of health. When the woman returned home, she decided to toss the spray cleaner away. It as only then that she saw she had been cleaning her cabinets for Pam Cooking Spray.

“Those are the kind of stories I’d like to include in the book –little tidbits of Southern humor,” Holmes said. “Everybody has a story or two they like tell whenever they had a chance. The book of funny stories from the South is a chance to tell those funny stories to people everywhere.”

Holmes will be gathering stories for a month or more and especially would like to include stories from in and around Pike County.

“Some of the funniest stories I’ve ever heard are from right around home,” he said.

Holmes grew up in Brundidge. His parents are the late David Holmes and Rosalyn Holmes. He is a 1978 graduate of Charles Henderson High School and Huntingdon College.

In addition to his book of redneck poetry, Holmes has 17 CDs of silly songs for kids and 10 DVDs of children’s music. He is currently living in North Dakota where he performs at different venues.

Those who would like to contribute a story to Holmes “Funny Stories from the South” book project may do so by sending a typed or handwritten story to Brent Holmes, P.O. Box 1767, Brentwood, TN 37024-1767 or via email to holmesbrent@yahoo.com.