Deago Bush has struggled with what he calls “darkness” for much of his life but now, he’s able to find the light and enjoys helping others find their “light,” as well. 

Bush was born and raised in Opp, graduating from Opp High School. After a rough start to his life, his grandmother took in him and his sister at the age of four and raised the siblings. Bush said his grandmother was one of the best things in his life. When he was in college, though, she was diagnosed with cancer. 

“My grandmother treated me like a son, not a grandson,” Bush recalled. “She raised me and my sister, so we were really invested when she got sick. We went to all of her appointments, all of her scans. I made sure I was there for everything and knew what was going on.”

Bush said that he dealt with depression from an early age and playing in the band in school was an escape for him. 

“When (my grandmother) got real sick she wasn’t able to come to events anymore and they began to mean less and less,” Bush said. “That had become my escape and suddenly it didn’t mean anything to me.”

After leaving college to help care for his grandmother, Bush began to work at a number of different places and through all of her pain his grandmother was still there to brighten his bad day.

“Even when she got real sick I would come home at 6 in the morning from work and she would be on the porch in her wheelchair with a cup of coffee and a cigarette just waiting for me,” he said with a smile. “We would talk for a couple of hours before I went to bed.” 

Bush said depression is something he’s had to deal with throughout his life, since the passing of his great grandmother when he was young.

“I gained a lot of weight and started eating my feelings and that’s what I do even now at times,” he said. 

In 2005, his grandmother passed away after a long battle with cancer.

“I remember going up to her hospital bed and she was laying there with her eyes closed,” he continued. “I said, ‘Granny, if you need to go it’s okay. Everything will be good.’ A huge tear rolled down her cheek and at 1:00 that afternoon she passed away.”

His depression worsened after losing his grandmother’s house following a family argument.

“My depression hit really hard,” he said. “It got darker and darker. I quit eating my feelings and lost weight and it got bad. Then, I got together with my wife in 2007 and things started to get better and settle down.”

Bush had worked throughout Troy and Pike County for years but was forced to medically retire after being diagnosed with Transverse Myelitis, which impacts the spine and can cause debilitating pain. 

“I was constantly in pain, and had a lot of nerve damage,” he said. “I couldn’t even walk or take care of myself at all.”
Bush was eventually wheelchair bound from the illness until he began to attend church services.

“Things started to progress and I started walking again,” he recalled. “I got baptized and was able to walk again and everything. I went from not being able to do anything to being able to move around again and take care of myself. I don’t know if it was finding faith or what, but it was definitely weird.” 

Over the years, Bush has had three recurrences of the illness that brings back the pain and darkness every time.

“The damage gets worse and worse every time,” he said. “It’s a lot to deal with.” 

Bush said he’s worked in some sort of customer service in Troy for the past 20 years and four years ago he started to work at WalMart, where he can be seen these days as a door greeter.

“I loved it because I got my customers back,” he said. “That was the coolest aspect of it to me. There’s so many great people I work with there, too.” 

Through the years, Bush said he’s struggled with suicidal thoughts, which came to a head one day when he decided to end things for good after a family fight.

“I snapped and shattered a cake dish and took the glass and decided to go to town,” he remembered. “I went dark, I was just tired. I was tired of hurting, tired of living, tired of not having my family. I was a centimeter away from killing myself.” 

Bush said that he had even planned on committing suicide on the 20-year anniversary of his grandmother’s death, which would have been this year.

“I planned to go on that day,” he continued. “I had it all lined up. That was the goal then, that’s not the goal now, though.” 

While losing family has been the source of much of his depression, family has also been a source of joy that keeps him going.

“I think it’s because of my kids and my grandkids,” he said of how it kept going. “One of my sons just got promoted to sergeant (in the military) and his wife was also promoted. That was one of my proudest moments. We have six grandkids, too. Lucy Ann, my youngest granddaughter, lives with us and she makes it worth it every day.

“I get to see her go to bed when she wakes up. That laugh is infectious and just makes me smile thinking about it.” 

Earlier in May, the Bushs welcomed a new grandson into the family, Waylon. Bush said another thing that keeps him going is helping others.

“Last night I ran across a post on Facebook of a family that had just moved and their debit card was locked and they couldn’t even get something to eat,” said Bush. “I said, ‘What do you need?’ For some reason, being able to help them – just a random person – meant so much to me. I think that’s what I love more than anything, just being able to help someone.” 

Bush shared some advice for anyone also dealing with pain or depression in their life.

“If you can, find a center,” he said. “The funny thing about darkness is there is always a light somewhere. In reality, when it’s night out – it’s constantly dark – but somewhere out there is some light. There is a star somewhere. So, look for that. Find your light.

“Set a goal for yourself. It doesn’t have to be a 5-year goal or something like that, it can just be a five second goal. Just keep pushing and strive for something. Find something that keeps your attention and if you don’t have something, I’ll keep your attention. Reach out to me even if you don’t know me or don’t have anyone else.”