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Now, I've seen it all

Published Saturday, September 12, 2009

The world’s going to hell in a hand basket.

That’s what my granny would say. She’d look around and remark at all the things that were bringing about the downfall of mankind.

Women that wore their dresses so short that their knees shined. Men that smoked cigarettes in the shadow of the church steeple, young folks that stayed out until after ten o’clock at night and young’uns that backtalked their mamas and daddies.

She regarded the television as the devil’s toolbox and it gave her scores of reasons to say, “Well, now I’ve seen it all.”

I found myself using those very words recently as I relaxed under an umbrella at a public swimming pool.

I found it amazing that so many women had tried to put so much in so little -- and it didn’t seem to bother them a bit that it didn’t all fit.

Two-piece bathing suits were not designed for the “mature woman.”

Peter Paul Reuben’s’ portraits had come to life right before my eyes.

But what bugged my eyes nearly out of my head was that women – of all ages, sizes and shapes -- had decorated their bodies with tattoos.

Now, most of these were not tattoos that would be seen in the normal workplace. They were on body parts that would be visible only during a doctor’s visit, surgery or by the undertaker.

But one young woman had a tattoo that covered her entire left arm. It was actually a mural of sorts. I could make out cascading flowers, a rippling stream and dancing fairies.

I wondered what kind of job she held down.

Tattoos were taboo when I was growing up.

Only very old men that had sailed the high seas had tattoos.

Their tattoos were always the same – a rose, an anchor or a heart that said “Mama.”

There was something scary about those men but there was also something mysterious about sailing the high seas and about tattoos.

So, when Cracker Jacks started putting tattoos a prizes in their boxes, we started putting tattoos on our arms and sailing the high seas.

You had to hold the tattoo paper on your arm with a wet rag for a few minutes and, when you took the rag off and peeled back the paper, the tattoo was supposed to be on your arm. But usually all that was left was a dark blue, runny spot. We perfected the method, though, by wetting the tattoo with vinegar instead of water – like we did when putting designs on Easter eggs. The tattoo was still a dark blue, runny spot but it stayed on longer.

Poolside that day, my thoughts drifted back to my childhood, but I was jarred back to reality by a plus-size lady who waddled by with a tattoo on each “cheek.” On one side was the sun and, on the other, a bright full moon. They rose and set with each step she took.

“Well, now I’ve seen it all.”

I sat there amused and wondering what would my granny say about all this.

On the way home, we stopped at a restaurant for dinner. Next to us sat a very distinguished lady who was obviously a grandmother waiting for her guest to arrive.

Soon, in came a young woman who looked like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm. When her grandmother saw her, a smile lit up her face. She stood and hugged Rebecca with great affection and then stepped back to get a good look at her.

Rebecca, by some standards, would have been considered a little dowdy but she had a sweet, innocent face. But then, Miss Sunnybrook Farm slipped off her sweater.

Grandma nearly fell out of her chair.

Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm had tattoos.

The ones on her arms looked as though they had been drawn with a magic marker – simple blue outlines of flowers. But then, there was the masterpiece. A colorful, detailed paisley design for her cleavage.

How far the designed trailed, I do not know nor do I know whether grandma has recovered from the shock or ever will.

But I know what she was thinking – “Well, now I’ve seen it all.”

And my granny could add tattoos to her long list of things that will be the downfall of womankind, especially when gravity kicks in and the flowers start to wilt.


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Comments

Posted by somethingtosay (anonymous) on September 12, 2009 at 9:45 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I can hear my granny saying the same thing. It is amazing how somethings that seem so great at the time, change with the evolution of time-tv, tatoos as we get older, etc. Let's not forget body piercing. That is another whole story. Very entertaining story. I have seen it unfold many times. I often wonder-do some people own a mirror and do they use it?

Posted by Linden (anonymous) on September 12, 2009 at 9:52 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I can understand your opinion, and believe it or not, I sympathize. I am not going to lie, I have occasionally thought of getting a tattoo, as I think that some of them are truly beautiful pieces of art. I am 25 years old, and most of my girlfriends have at least one tattoo. Every time I get up the courage to actually get one, I can't figure out what I want. I have asked myself, what is so important to me that I want to permanantely mark my body with it? The answer is: nothing. I want to set a good example for my grandaughter one day, by showing her how much better a mature older woman looks when she doesn't have a momento from her twenties pasted on top of her skin in her 70's! lol!

Posted by turtle (anonymous) on September 12, 2009 at 10:44 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I am the proud owner of two tattoos and have plans for more. They are a beautiful form of artwork and if anyone doesn't believe that just go into Eternal Ink here in Troy and look at some of Tim's work. He is a genius at tattoing. Granted, my tattoos are not always visible, but it was my choice as to where I had them placed. Each one has a special meaning, a dedication to my marriage and a memorial to my father. However, some people just like the way they look. Too many people would rather sit in judgement of someone because they have tattoos or piercings rather than actually get to know the person. Take the time and you just mind find that girl with the sleeve (that is what a full arm of tattoos is called) or the guy who has his arms and legs covered, or his head covered are some of the sweetest, most caring, funniest people you'll ever meet.

Posted by oldhog (anonymous) on September 12, 2009 at 2:50 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Darn, makes me want to get one. Think i will hide it though. Way my luck been going it will just between me and the undertaker.

Posted by BF2C1 (anonymous) on September 13, 2009 at 4:17 p.m. (Suggest removal)

I like to wear chicken bone earrings. Got an endless supply from KFC.

Posted by bamateach (anonymous) on September 14, 2009 at 1:06 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Mrs. Jaine -- I know that my granny would say the same thing. She actually did one day when we were visiting family in Upstate NY and one of my cousin's friends was at the house and asked granny if she'd like to see her new tatoo. Granny didn't get a chance to answer before the lady pulled up the bottom of her swimsuit bottom in front of my granny's face to bear her cheek and show granny her new sun tatoo. All granny could say was "That's Nice!" and then later she was still in shock she said something similar to she'd seen it all now. Some people just like showing off things that they get. I don't have a tatoo and don't plan to get one, however if I did, it would never be where anyone could see it, except for the doctor and the undertaker!

Posted by OldTimer (anonymous) on September 14, 2009 at 9:15 a.m. (Suggest removal)

I tend to agree with Jaine. I have always looked at tattoos as a type of graffiti. But then again, I'm old too. The problem I have is that it is so hard to reverse them. I can just see marrying a girl that has Joe tattooed on her when your name is John(same is true for the ladies). Oh well, I guess if it is your body, you
can do what you want with it. We older folks
tend to associate tattoos with Charles Manson, motorcycle gang members and drunken sailors. It will be hard to erase those memories from our minds after all
these years. I can see in Turtle's case where it is a memorial to a loved one, it takes on an entirely different meaning.
Those sentiments tend to be permanent.
I guess the bottom line is to each his/her own.

Posted by shannonland (anonymous) on September 15, 2009 at 11:22 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Technology: Advancement Or Destruction?
Many people in today’s’ world might ponder the question, ‘What can we do to advance technology?” I say we need to stop all the advancements, stop killing the earth and ourselves. Who says dredging forward is the answer? I say we need to look back at the past for the ways of living. Does anyone remember “the good ole days”? Life was so different then. Hard times-yes, hard work-yes, but almost everyone knew devotion, loyalty and honesty to others and themselves. The days of living off the land, taking care of, and standing by your family was what was important. We have advanced, time and time again, with technology discoveries and inventions to make life easier. But does it really make it easier? Progress, can be seen speeding by on the four lanes and interstates of this modern world. Where can we find our core values, our morals? Where do we find common courtesy or self-respect? Are we above being humble or be grateful for the gift of nature that we are all to busy to even notice? Or does our gratitude lie within the high rise buildings, our lavish homes or our fancy automobiles? What I see is destruction, by our own demise.
God gave us an amazing gift. Nature. And after many decades of time it is still free to enjoy. Free to enjoy. How many people can see what is right in front of us? Can you hear the crickets at night? Can you see the leaves blowing in the trees? Can you feel the sun shining down? . We are the very ones, who have torn down in order to build. Bulldozed our very life source, blocked our views of humanity with department stores, and mini malls, Instead of us standing tall and proud on our own two feet. We feed off each other, like scavengers, Old fashion values are buried in corporate greed. The lights of mainstream America has blinded our common decency and compassion. Instead of showing simple appreciation, we only take and demand more.
I have more appreciation for a single blade of grass than I do most people today. Bladen disregard for simplicity shows in the disrespect and destruction of the very world we live in. Humility and gratitude has been replaced with an entrepreneurial hunger that will never be satisfied. The drive for more has enveloped our very souls. The entire world has become morally bankrupt. We have entwined ourselves with stress and unneeded complications that we have forgotten what is important and what is not.

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